Theories

Robots are aliens
Crybabies are normal babies that cry
The moon is made of processed cheese substitute
Canada is America Jr.
McDonalds and Burger King are owned by the same parent corporation
Money is funny
Apples are imaginary
Tomato soup is made of sweet potatoes and vegtable oil
Birds and bees don't get along
Happiness is a warm gun
Soap makes you cold
Unicorns rule the world
The speed of light is enforced by an intergalactic law enforcement agency established by Zeus