NASA

I wrote a ltetter to nasa@nasa.gov today. I don't know if thats a real address, but I felt my message was imporant enought to try.

It went like this:

Dear NASA,

Hello. My name is Greg Murray. I am here to apply for the job of astronaut. I feel that am I fully qualified to boldly go into the vastness of space and reach into the depths of eternity. I am 22 years old.. I was going to college but I got suspended for having bad grades. II don;t have a job. I am living with my parents. I'm pretty good at video games. I really like space. I like to look at the stars sometimes. Sometimes I use pictures of galaxies for my desktop background on my computer. I think that the Hubble Space Telescope is pretty cool. So ya know, I'm all really to go. My bags are packed. Well not literally, but mentally? Emotionally? Spiritually? Yes, definitely yes. I am ready to go. Send me to the moon. Or Mars. Someplace where I have a pretty good chance of shooting aliens would be nice. Or we could make peace, that would be fine too. I am here when you need me.

Sincerely,
Gregory Mitchell Murray

Its 11:30 at night...

Its 11:30... I've been rolling around in bed for a while now and just can't get myself to fall asleep no matter how I twist and turn. I awoke in a cold sweat haunted by the demons of my self deception. I can't live this lie anymore. I am a fraud. I am not Greg Murray. The real Gregory was killed in a freak trampoline fight accident by his brothers at the age of six. I was kidnapped from the orphanage by the Murray brothers and took the place of Greg before their parents could notice. Since that day a constant supply of hallucinogenic drugs and the promise of money has keep this horrible secret within me. But the pain of a lifetime of regret has overpowered the intoxicants and I present the truth to you purely and without guile. With this admission I will leave. I go now to the lonesome crowded west, to the ancient empty streets too dead for dreaming. Goodbye to all I have known and hurt. Perhaps we will meet again in more favorable circumstances.

-Frederick Uriel Naohman